INSTRUCTIONS

Students’ Identity

Writer

Editor

Name

Ireneus Febri Wiyudika. D

Zahran Halya W

Study Program

Photography

Photography

Title of Manuscript

Fine Art Photography

C=Competence :  NC= Non Competence

No

Editorial Findings

Number

Key Word

C

NC

A

Mechanical Editing

 

(bagian esp)

 

 

 

·          Types

1

In here also we can know the history – he doesn’t use the right sentence

 

 

 

·          Words

1

Photograph – the word should be photographer, because it’s a profession

 

 

 

·          Phrase

3

the history how it can be born and made

 

 

 

·          Clause

1

in 1970 – at esp “when” chapter he just used that sentence for answer

 

 

 

·          Punctuations

 

                   

 

 

 

·          Comma

1

Until the late 1970s several genres predominated, such as nudes, portraits, and natural landscapes (exemplified by Ansel Adams).

 

 

 

·          Colon

 

 

 

 

 

·          Semi Colon

 

 

 

 

 

·          Preposition

 

 

 

 

 

·          Dictions

 

 

 

 

B

Substantive Editing

 

(bagian translate)

 

 

 

·           Content Accuracy

3

Fotografi fashion telah ada sejak awal fotografi. (penempatan alur yang kurang tepat)

 

 

 

·           Language Consistency

4

Fotografi fesyen – seharusnya kata yang digunakan fotografi mode

 

 

 

·           Message Originality

1

Banyak yang merasa bahwa fotografi fesyen, khususnya selama masa perang, adalah sembrono dan tidak perlu

 

 

 

·           Reader’s Interest

1

Vogue diikuti oleh saingannya, Harper's Bazaar, dan kedua perusahaan tersebut adalah pemimpin di bidang fotografi mode sepanjang tahun 1920-an dan 1930-an. – terlalu melenceng dari point artikel

 

 

 

·           Coherence

1

Fotografi fashion telah mengembangkan estetikanya sendiri di mana pakaian dan mode ditingkatkan dengan kehadiran lokasi atau aksesori yang eksotis. Fotografi fashion telah ada sejak awal fotografi.

 

 

C

Pictorial Editing

 

 

 

 

 

·           Harmony

 

 

 

 

 

·           Balancing

 

 

 

 

 

·           White Space

 

 

 

 

 

·           Color

 

 

 

 

Verbal Verification:

This paper should have including any color or image in it.
the paper about fine art article isn’t on point and need more refrence and field of experience from the photograph.

Editorial judgement
Wiyudika’s ESP and translate are monotone. The 5w1h he made are too simple and the answer doesn’t really answering the question, he should have including tense and pattern in it.
wiyudika should have do the tense and pattern , author reason part in the ESP.

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